Before you arrive
Start clean. Every good centre has a shower in the room and you will be shown it, so use it. Showering at your hotel first is a kind touch, not a replacement: she showers too, and starting fresh lets you both stop thinking about it and start enjoying her hands.
Skip the cologne. Fragrance, aftershave and body lotion all fight with the oil and linger in a small room for the next guest. Clean, bare skin is all the session needs.
Arrive sober, or nearly. One drink beforehand is fine. Arriving drunk is not, and a professional masseuse will not begin with someone who cannot follow the opening conversation. It is not a moral judgement; consent simply has to come from someone who is fully present.
Be on time, or send a message. Sessions are scheduled so that guests never cross paths. Arriving fifteen minutes late without a word may cost you part of your session; a quick message ten minutes before, and nobody minds.
Put your phone away. Silent, out of reach and never in your hand during the session. Photographs and recording are not allowed anywhere, and a phone in sight makes the masseuse wonder. Tuck it in your bag and the question never comes up.
The conversation before the oil
Every professional session opens with your masseuse telling you what the programme includes, asking what she should know, explaining what you may and may not do, and agreeing a word that means stop. It takes two or three minutes, and it is worth listening to. What she says sets the rules for the session, and she says it aloud so that nobody has to guess.
Answer her questions honestly. A bad shoulder is worth mentioning.
So are nerves: she hears that more than anything, and it changes how she begins. If you do not know what you want, "I've never done this" is a perfect answer. Bravado helps nobody; claiming experience you do not have only leads to a session pitched wrong.
Ask whatever you like. There are no silly questions at this stage, and she would much rather answer now than have you wondering through the session.
Your hands
This is the etiquette question we hear most, and it has the clearest answer: whether and how you may touch your masseuse is something she tells you before she begins, and it varies from programme to programme and from one masseuse to the next. Being nude does not change it, body-to-body contact does not change it, and her being unclothed does not change it. What she says is the rule.
If she has said your hands may rest on her, let them rest. If she has said they may not, keep them still; the easiest way is to leave them at your sides or under your head from the start, with nothing to remember. Unsure whether something is welcome? Ask: a two-word question mid-session is fine, and far better than testing. Unwelcome touch ends a session at any professional centre, without refund, and rightly so.
Talking
Some guests love to chat; others prefer silence. Your masseuse will follow your lead, and either is perfectly fine.
What is worth avoiding is a third option: remarks about her body, questions about her private life, or describing what you want in words you would not use in front of a colleague. She is at work. Talk to her as you would to any professional whose hands are on you, a physiotherapist or a barber, with as much warmth as you like and the same lines.
Two things to say freely: what you would like more or less of, in plain words; and thank you at the end, which costs nothing and is always remembered.
Asking for what you like
Ask for anything within the programme: slower, firmer, lighter, more attention here, less there, the music off, the lights lower, unscented oil. None of this is an imposition; she would much rather adjust than guess.
Something beyond the programme? Ask openly, at the start, before the oil. Special wishes are welcome here: your masseuse tells you what she is happy to add and what it costs, and the two of you agree it before anything begins. Her answer may be no, and that answer is final.
What spoils a session is pushing after a no, or trying to bargain halfway through. A professional centre will not budge, and if the pressure continues, the session ends. If you would like a different experience, choose a different programme or ask about it when you book.
When she says no
Your masseuse can decline a request, pause the session or stop it altogether, with or without a reason, exactly as you can. If she does, that is the end of the matter. Arguing, persuading or sulking are the surest ways not to be welcomed back. The right answer to no is "of course", and the session carries on within the boundaries she has set.
It works the other way too, and it is the reason these rules exist at all: because she is free to say no, her yes is real, and that is what makes the session worth having.
Stopping
The word you agreed before the oil pauses or ends the session at any moment, and nobody will ask why. It is part of every session for every guest, not a special courtesy for nervous first-timers, and using it is never rude.
If you feel uncomfortable, say the word. If you simply want a moment, say the word. Nobody takes offence, and the session resumes or ends on your terms.
Money
The price is the price. Pay what was confirmed in writing, when the centre asks (usually at the start), and do not haggle in the room. A professional centre does not negotiate, and trying to suggests you have mistaken it for a different kind of place.
Tipping is optional. At Barcelona's professional centres it is neither expected nor requested; if you would like to leave one, it goes to your masseuse. A tip is a thank-you, not a bargaining chip: if you want something beyond the programme, ask for it openly, as above.
Agree any extra before it happens, never during. Extra minutes or a special wish are agreed in plain words, at a clear price, before they begin. A masseuse at a good centre will not haggle mid-session, and she will think more of you for not trying.
Leaving
The session ends in stillness. You have time to shower and dress; enjoy it, but do not linger too long, because another guest is booked after you and the room needs preparing.
Thank your masseuse and leave the way you came. Nobody else needs a word from you, and nobody expects a promise to return; a professional centre does not chase.
Reviews belong on Google, and a specific one, naming the programme and how it went, helps the next guest more than five bare stars. If something was wrong, tell the centre first, in plain words; its answer will show you whether the problem lay with the complaint or with the centre.
What you can expect in return
Etiquette works both ways. A professional centre owes you the session exactly as its page describes it, at the price confirmed, in a clean room with a shower, with a masseuse who introduces herself, tells you how the session will unfold and keeps to it. It owes you the freedom to stop.
It owes you privacy: no record attached to your name, no follow-up messages and nothing on your statement that identifies the business. It owes you an answer to any question, before, during or after. If any of this is missing, the failure is the centre's, and our checklist for telling a professional centre from a risky one will help you judge whether it was a slip or the rule.
Erotic massage etiquette in one paragraph
Arrive clean, sober and on time. Listen to the conversation before the oil and follow what she says about your hands. Ask for what you want in plain words, and raise anything beyond the programme at the start. Accept no gracefully.
Stop whenever you need to. Pay what was agreed, tip if you feel like it, and never haggle after a no. Thank her, and go. That really is all of it, and it is why men who read a guide like this are welcome at any professional centre in the city.
If it is your first time, our first-timer's guide covers the visit from the search results to the walk home, and how a visit works takes you through our own welcome at our Eixample centre step by step. Each technique — sensual, tantric and the rest on the menu — has its own page describing the session, which is the easiest way to know what to ask for.
The first sentence can be “this is my first time”.